People often follow that old adage that distance makes a heart grow fonder, well I’m pretty sure that is situational.
I see my husband for 5 hours a week. No I don’t work out of town, nor does he. We are just over committed. I work two jobs, we coach little league, manage a soccer team, volunteer for soccer board, and have a boy in baseball and girl in after school drama. We have no time and are constantly on the go. Now not too long ago I would pine all day every day to get home and be with him and we spent our days full of lovey dovey messages. Not so much now. Our minutes together each day now are arguing and stress over where kids uniforms are, whose driving where, and the chores neither of us have had time to get to. Our hour together a day awake is hectic and normally chumpy. Then we go to bed with no words spoken and do it all over again.
We spend so much time being chumpy that many days I’m relieved to go to work or practice. Far cry from a few months ago. We have too much distance. For the healthy of my relationship something has to change. Here’s my game plan.
1. Invest time into our marriage like we do our kids and work.
Marriage requires time and a commitment to constant evolution like when it was new. We dedicate hours and days to our kids and their activities, I am going to dedicate an hour a week to my husband and I just to be together (during waking hours)
2. Have a written to do list and prep the night before for the next day.
Lots of our arguments stem from disorganization creating additional stress. By having a better working calendar and to do list we can cut this day stress. Having everyone’s stuff together the night before we can significantly cut down our confusion.
3. Remember we were friends first.
Often we take each other for granted and him being my constant companion makes him the first person I get snippy with. We became husband and wife because we were best friends.