exercise · random thoughts · Weightloss · writing

Just wear the damn suit

So I wanted to take the kids swimming today and was looking for shorts and a tank top.  I decided maybe I’d try again on the swim suit I had disappointedly put back in the shipping bag and stuffed into the back of my dresser to never wear. I wasn’t comfortable and felt like I looked awful. Well not only have I slimmed down a bit, but recently read a great article about loving yourself and feeling confident in your skin. So I put it on and this time it actually fit!! I took a picture to send to my mom. When I saw my self in the picture, I froze up, I shudders and thought oh no oh no that looks bad. (Despite my husband and mom  telling me how nice I looked). I started to go in my room to change and my husband and our kids let out a heavy sigh and flopped back down on the couch prepared to wait. I felt bad so thought, screw it, I’ll wear a sarong like a dress over it and we will just go.
I felt so uncomfortable when we got to the creek. I stayed covered, got my feet in and eventually sat with just my butt in the water so I could lift the sarong but still stay covered.  I stayed like this watching everyone in the water having a blast for awhile until I just couldn’t take the heat anymore. I tied the sarong like a shirt over my chest and stomach and got in to my belly button. My husband laughed at me that I looked like a person way to worried about their looks. He was right. Everyone else was enjoying and doing their thing while I sat on the side and watched because I was too anxious about what other people would silently think of my suit.

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Until it hit, why does it even matter? Is their silent judgement going to affect my life or even this event? So I took my purple sarong of safety off. I’m not sure what I expected after thst. People to turn in disgust, gawk at me, tell me I look awful… You know what happened, nothing! I wore my revealing suit, had a blast with my family and cooled off in the creek.
Show a few rolls, ya. Show some skin? Ya. Did anyone call me out, no. Matter of fact I think I was the only one who even noticed me and my tiny suit. I felt good being me and once I quit thinking about what others thought of me I was able to just be me.

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7 thoughts on “Just wear the damn suit

  1. Hey Tamara!

    I’m loving your blog (followed!) but I would also like to invite you to submit a short piece to my own. I think your perspective and style of writing would be a perfect piece for my project.

    It’d also be a great way to get your blog/writing out there.

    Please feel free to email me (jennifer@youngandtwenty) with more questions, or take a look at the ‘BEING Young & Twenty’ page on my blog.

    I hope I’ll hear from you 🙂

    Jennifer

    youngandtwenty.com

    Like

  2. I here what you are saying…I can see my self going threw what your saying….minus no kids and not married. I hated my body in a bathing suit so I wore t-shirt over it I was 220 lbs. I didn’t like my body how I looked but now I dropped 50 lbs my hole image changed I don’t over my body up anymore. But from time to time I look down at my legs and start to thing oh fat I am but I quickly think of how far I have come. I quickly say to my self no I am not. I am hoping by oct I will be in two peace bathing suit. I never been in one

    Like

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