I got to work a little early today and was moving through my morning like normal, setting up a presentation for my boss. I misplaced two things and had a technical snafu. My boss comes in and talks some pleasantry, “good morning, how was your weekend..yadda yadda” then he looks at me and says, “how are you feeling, you look kinda punky” My boss is an older man. Punky means inexperienced, young, scruffy or ruffianish. (Now fun fact I just learned while looking that up this morning-it also means Prostitute). “Just making sure you are feeling okay-have you had any coffee yet?” At that point I was not sure if I should feel offended, or if he was concerned for me. As we were walking out my co-worker says to me, “ya Tamara, you look like shit.” as he laughing walked with me. Okay then, that is how I took that also.
I laughed knowing that my boss digs me so I didn’t say anything but as I walked back towards my office I thought, do I look bad today? When I got up I was feeling pretty good, I lost more weight this week over last, I put on a wrap today, (I forgot my Thermofit and Greens though) I even did my hair and put on some makeup! I brushed it off and went about my day but then sat at my desk and wondered how many of these little comments pile up through the days. How do these tiny, “are you feeling okay, you look a little under the weather, Oh your super pale, super flush, you look puffy, are you bloated?” Things that may not be meant in mean spirit but just kinda make you feel shitty anyway. That just slowly creep up on your self-image and make you feel bad about yourself.
I’m going to make it a point not to throw out these little “feelers”, I just don’t wanna put myself in that situation. From now on unless someone is puking in front of me or has snot pouring down their face I’m just not going to do it. Maybe just some food for thought on politely asking someone if they feel well really comes across as attempting to tell them they look like shit without offending them. What if they feel great, then are you just an asshole? Too much stress for this girl.